T-Money
T-Money, the God-King of the Kleptocracy of Kooladia is a character prevalent in many tales of Gabe Hults. He is a diagnosed Kleptomaniac, who has dedicated his life to making Gabe's life a living hell. He is currently in the Tiger Red Dorm of Golf Academy in North Carolina, where he beats up transsexuals. He can't hear you from the top of the leaderboards. In Season 5, he got his own mini-arc where he had to duel 1,000 orphans and steal their souls so Gabe Hults could unlock the power of the Indomitable Grape Koolaid God and defeat Maximillian J. Pegasus Hults.h Birth T-Money was born on October 12th, 1999, to Julie Andrews and Asbestos in the town of Flint Michigan, Colorado. When he hath been birthed, he consumed his mother, stealing her life. Quickly growing into a long, lanky, boi, he fled into the woods, where he would eat squirrels and mate with the local deer. Early Childhood In the year of 2004, he met President George Dubya Kush while Dubya was going on his daily run. Dubya felt sympathetic for the poor wolf child, he took him in and raised him as his own. Now, little T-Money was livin' large in the white house, smoking weed everyday and chilling like a villain. Regardless, he soon found nothing to do in his life. Dramatel In April of 2007, an eight year old T-Money befriended Demetrius and his girlfriend, Baby's Momma. Unbeknownst to Baby's Momma but knownst to T-Money, Demetrius was actually cheating on Baby's Momma with Christie using the power of caller ID, call block, and call return. T-Money, being the kind, caring person he is, created Dramatel, the almost illegal phone card. Including features such as voice disguises, and the ability to spoof your number, not only could you catch a cheater, you could be a cheater too. Releasing the product into the wild, T-Money quickly racked up them dollars from the almost illegal product, earning him a spot on the "Richest under 10" list. Takeover of the Democracy of Kooladia For the next three years, T-Money resided in the Democracy of Kooladia, a prefecture of the Holy Grabian Empire. At age 11, T-Money decided to pursue a career in politics, running for the Democratically Elected Legislature of the Democracy of Kooladia, a Semi-Autonomous Prefecture of the Holy Grabian Empire, and winning his election. Initially a part of the ruling party, Kooladians for a Grapier Future, lead by Grabe Grabe Binks, however he soon grew frustrated with their belief in "personal property", and became an Independent, before forming his own party, the Kooladians for a Kleptocracy. After the next election, where his party held a plurality of 27 seats in the 69 seat legislature, he was granted emergency powers by Grabe Grabe Binks. Immediately after receiving these powers, he had all other members of the Democratically Elected Legislature of the Democracy of Kooladia, a Semi-Autonomous Prefecture of the Holy Grabian Empire executed, and reformed the Democracy of Kooladia into the Kleptocracy of Kooladia. Dueling the 1,000 Orphans Matt C., Gabe Hults and T-Money were looking for a way to defeat Maximillian J. Pegasus Hults. Matt C. told the other two about the Duel Monsters card Indomitable Grape Koolaid God, which Gabe could use to defeat Maximillian J. Pegasus Hults. The only problem was that they would need the souls of 1,000 orphans, and none of them knew any orphans except for Seto Gaba. T-Money, remembering that the Kleptocracy of Kooladia had recently been in a war with Mexico, traveled there to find the necessary orphans. Using his Tickly Thief cards, he easily gathered 900 orphan souls. However, he was having trouble finding the last 100. Deciding to check the American South, he went North to go South, where he gathered another 97 orphan souls. Then, he ran into Dr. Winston Pendleton III, who told him of three more orphans he must duel: Cloud Atlas; Jedidiah Beauregard Sessions, and finally Seto Graba. Duel with Cloud Atlas Cloud Atlas, formerly a solider for the Graba Corporation, became an orphan when Gabe, the Homicidal Maniac went crazy after his Killer Krew were killed by his alien mother and burned down the town of Parker, Colorado. T-Money found him in a bar in Montgomery, and challenged him to a duel. Cloud accepted, and started off by summoning his S.O.L.D.I.E.R. 5th Rank, in attack mode, and threw down a facedown. Tyler activated the effect of Tickly Thief Child Snatcher, and took control of S.O.L.D.I.E.R. 5th Rank, only to tribute it for Tickly Thief Taker of Virginity. Using Taker of Virginity's effect, T summoned the level 1 Tickly Thief Candy Taker from his deck, and tune it with the level 6 Taker of Virginity to synchro summon Tickly Thief Kleptomaniac, and proceeded to make a direct attack. While it looked like Cloud would lose all of his 4,000 life points, he activated his trap card, S.O.L.D.I.E.R. Reinforcement, to summon S.O.L.D.I.E.R. 2nd Rank in defense mode, sparing his life points. Because S.O.L.D.I.E.R. 2nd Rank was destroyed by battle, Cloud was able to summon S.O.L.D.I.E.R. 5th Rank from his graveyard, leaving T to set two cards facedown. Cloud then summoned another S.O.L.D.I.E.R. 5th rank, and overlayed them to Xyz summon the Rank 3 S.O.L.D.I.E.R. Monstrous Angel. Using one of Angel's overlay units, he reduced Tickly Thief Kleptomaniac's attack by half, and destroyed it in battle, leaving T with 3600 life points. Completely unfazed, T-Money started his next turn with the the spell card Robbed Again, bringing back his Kleptomaniac with its effects negated. Then, he summoned Tickly Thief Safe Snatcher to summon Tickly Thief Candy Taker from his grave, tuned Candy Taker with the level 2 Safe Snatcher to summon Tickly Thief Heist, then tuned the level 7 Kleptomaniac with his level 3 Heist, to summon his ace, Tickly Thief Dramatel. Because Dramatel was synchro summoned with two synchro monsters, he got to copy the effect of one other face up monster on the field, reducing S.O.L.D.I.E.R. Monstrous Angel's attack to 1200. Then, using his other effect, T-Money reduced his life points by half so Dramatel could make a second attack this battle phase. After the first attack, Cloud had 700 life points remaining, and was defenseless against against the follow up attack, losing to T-Money and having his soul stolen. Duel with Jedidiah Beauregard Sessions T-Money began the duel with the high ground, summoning Tickly Thief Kleptomaniac on his first turn, and slowly whittled down Jedidiah's life points. While Jedidiah managed to summon KKK Imperial Wizard with the effect of his KKK Klansman, T-Money summoned Tickly Thief Dramatel and won the duel, now only needing one orphan soul. Duel with Seto Graba Climbing to the top of the Graba Tower, T-Money found Seto Graba in his private office, and quickly commenced the duel. T-Money started off by using the effect of Tickly Thief Embezzler to summon itself and Tickly Thief Candy Taker, tuning the level 3 and level 1 monsters to summon Tickly Thief Heart Stealer, before setting two cards facedown and ending his turn. Seto Graba was not amused, and used the effect of his Blue-Eyes White Aryan to summon the Blue-Eyes White Dragon, but when he attempted to destroy Heart Stealer, T-Money activated the trap card Doble Passe, taking 3000 points of damage while dealing 2000 to Graba. Graba ended his turn with a facedown. Next, T-Money used his Robbed Again spell card to bring back Candy Taker, then used the effect of Tickly Thief Child Snatcher to take control of the Blue-Eyes White Dragon, tribute it for Tickly Thief Taker of Virginity and summon Tickly Thief Kleptomania. Graba, however, predicted that something like this would happen, and used the spell Master Race to take control of Kleptomania. Due to the effects of Doble Passe, however, Heart Stealer was able to make a direct attack this turn, but Graba used the second effect of Master Race to tribute Kleptomania and negate the damage, leaving him with 2,000 life points and T-Money with 1,000. At the start of his turn, Graba summoned Blue-Eyes White Nationalist, which let him summon a Blue-Eyes monster from his graveyard, bringing back Blue-Eyes White Dragon. Attacking Heart Stealer, T-Money activated his Confidence Trap Card, turning the damage he would have taken into life points, for a total of 2,000 life points. As Graba ended his turn, T-Money summoned Tickly Thief Safe Snatcher, used its ability to bring back Candy Taker, summoned Tickly Thief Heist, used the spell Monster Reborn to revive Kleptomaniac, and tuned Heist and Kleptomaniac to summon Tickly Thief Dramatel. Dramatel copied Heart Stealer's effect to take control of one monster, stealing the Blue-Eyes White Dragon, before having Dramatel make a direct attack, defeating Graba and stealing his soul, giving him all 1,000. Assault on Maximillian J. Pegasus Hults' Fortress Now that Gabe had Indomitable Grape Koolaid God, Gabe, Matt C., Tanner Bahr, Zladko, The Freaky Fish Guy, Vince Offer, Ted Bundy and Ima Gun Dye went to Maximillian J. Pegasus Hults' fortress, in the Swiss Alps. Sneaking inside the hidden base, T-Money, Vince Offer and Ima Gun Dye split off from the main group, to disable the security doors. Leaving Ima Gun Die outside the security command center, Vince and T-Money dueled Raul and Fidel Castro, beating them without issue. However, Ethan Bahr, sex slave to Maximillian J. Pegasus Hults, had defeated Ima Gun Die, and now sought to duel both T-Money and Vince Offer. Duel with Ethan Bahr Ethan Bahr started the duel by drawing a pistol and shooting Vince Offer dead.